


You're a WHAT now??

by SparklyEyed17



Series: Taeyong didn't sign up for this shit [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: An attempt at crack, Crack, Humor, Hyuck and Nana need to sort out their priorities, Mild Language, Someone save Taeil, Vampires, Winwin needs a chewtoy, someone save Taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklyEyed17/pseuds/SparklyEyed17
Summary: In which Winwin is an evolved vampire that somehow forgets to mention that fact to his members. (Spoiler: So is Chenle.)





	You're a WHAT now??

**Author's Note:**

> So I honestly have no idea what made me write this, but its here and I'm not entirely mad so.. I hope you enjoy. Please don't take anything seriously.

The dorm shook with a screech as Taeyong laid his eyes on Winwin’s bed, where his pillow had been ripped in multiple places by what looked like bite marks. The boy himself woke with a jolt, snapping up in bed with pillow stuffing stuck in his hair.  
‘What is it, hyung?’ He asked crankily, rubbing his sleep ridden eyes and Taeyong would have, honest to god, cooed at the cute sight if it weren’t for the mutilated pillow that currently decorated the sheets.  
‘I came to call both of you for breakfast but what the hell happened here?!’ Taeyong cried, addressing Taeil as well since the eldest was also victim of the screech.  
‘Huh? Oh that.. Sorry hyung I bite things in my sleep.’ Winwin explained slowly, taking in the sight of his bed.  
‘What do you mean?? I know we joked about you being a pillow biter but this is definitely not what we meant! How did you even manage to do that?’  
Winwin tilted his head in confusion. ‘Then what did you mean by “pillow biter”?’ He asked innocently.  
‘Oh my god that’s not important. Answer my question, please.’  
‘What’s going on here? Hyung, why are you screaming?’ Mark’s sleepy face popped in at the door.  
‘Good question. I thought breakfast was ready and I get this mistreatment?’ Donghyuck chimed in from behind.  
‘There’s cereal on the counter, milk in the fridge, bread in the cupboard and eggs on the stove. Help yourself.’ Taeyong said exasperatedly. ‘Sicheng, what exactly happened to these pillows? It looks like an animal ripped it apart and I swear to Taeil hyung’s voice that if there’s a rat in here-’  
‘Hey.’ Taeil mumbled in protest.  
‘Hyung! Can you relax? There’s no rat. I’m teething and I tend to bite things during this time.’ Winwin said, as if it was the most obvious explanation in the world.  
Tayong stared at Winwin like he had grown two heads. Behind him, Mark just looked very confused.  
‘Sicheng this isn’t a joke. What do you mean you bit them? How could you possibly bite them to this extent?’  
‘Holy hell hyung, I meant exactly what I said! How difficult is it to understand? Here, look!’ With that, he bared his teeth and oh, Taeyong felt very faint because there, among his pearly whites, were four glistening fangs.  
This time it wasn’t Taeyong who screamed, but Taeil, and in that moment the entire dorm learned the oldest vocalist’s true lung power.  
‘CAN Y’ALL SHUT UP?’ Doyoung yelled from outside.  
‘What the fuck they’re just my teeth, can you stop screaming?’ Winwin snapped before he realised he said that in Chinese and shrank back in bed when he saw Taeyong glower at him upon recognising the swear word.  
‘Woah that’s so cool! Are those fake?’ Mark, bless his heart, remained blissfully oblivious.  
‘They’re not fake.’ Winwin answered warily, still awaiting Taeyong’s reprimand and was surprised when the leader just took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  
‘Okay. So let me get this straight-’  
‘Taeyong and straight don’t go together.’ Doyoung snarked as he crossed by the room.  
‘THAT’S NOT THE POINT DAMMIT. Anyway, back to what I was saying-’  
‘Are you a vampire?’ Taeil interrupted Taeyong, having calmed down enough to cautiously address Winwin.  
The relief that washed over Winwin’s face was palpable as he jumped out of bed and stretched with a grin.  
‘Finally someone gets it. Yes, I am a vampire. Thank you Taeil hyung! I thought you all knew though.’  
‘You- What?’ Taeyong sputtered.  
Winwin sighed. Apparently there was a lot to be explained.  
***  
‘This is so cool. So Chenle’s a vampire, too?’ Donghyuck asked excitedly.  
Chenle looked at the massive group of boys in front of him, adorably confused.  
‘Yes? Wait, didn’t all of you know that?’ He asked, wide-eyed.  
‘No they didn’t. They weren’t told, for some reason.’ Winwin replied.  
‘But how though? You don’t seem to drink blood, unless you do so without us knowing.’ Johnny said, trying to process everything just like everyone else.  
‘We don’t drink blood, hyung. I mean we can, but we don’t want to.’ Chenle chirped.  
Taeyong stifled a cry and slumped back against Jaehyun, who caught him, looking alarmed.  
‘There’s quite a few ancient vampire bloodlines in China and both Chenle and I are descended from two of them. Over the years, human and vampire characteristics fused to form people like us, non-immortal human vampires. So these are the result of evolution.’ Winwin explained, pointing at his fangs.  
Some of the members gasped.  
‘Ooh ge you’ve started teething!’ Chenle exclaimed, looking at the fairly menacing looking fangs before Winwin retracted them.  
‘Yes. That’s why this whole thing started in the first place.’ He replied, rolling his eyes.  
‘Hold on, what’s teething?’ Ten asked.  
‘What do you possibly think it could be, hyung?’ Winwin deadpanned.  
‘It’s when your fangs start growing longer. It’s like puberty for your teeth.’ Chenle happily answered.  
‘Fangs.. Puberty. Right.’ Taeyong said weakly, still being supported by Jaehyun.  
‘Does that mean Chenle has pre-pubescent fangs?’ Mark piped up, looking at the young vampire curiously.  
‘When you put it that way, yeah. I guess.’ Chenle replied and opened his mouth, extending 4 small, sharp canines but instead of menacing, they made him look-  
‘CUTE!’ Jaemin shrieked, surging forward and holding a bewildered Chenle’s face, examining them from every angle. Donghyuck joined him while the rest of the members looked on a mixture of amusement and wariness.  
‘So are we gonna ignore the fact that Chenle said that they can actually drink blood?’ Doyoung supplied unhelpfully.  
‘Oh my god I quit.’ Taeyong sighed.


End file.
